It’s been almost a decade since we’ve had the wonderful combination of a cinematic journey to Middle Earth and holiday season! Also, if you’re in my age group, this time around you have a real job and real money to spend on stuff! I mean, other people. Because it’s the season of giving.
Here’s my top ten list of some of the best and most unique Hobbit gifts out there! You don’t even have to fight a dragon for this wonderful hoard, just your credit card bills and weird internet connections.
“Ay,” th’ Captain sputtered ‘tween bung holefuls. “Ye do nay need be patient t’ be a sea dog. Ye want booty, ye plunder. Ye want dubloon, ye steal. Ye want a pretty lass, thar`s a nice port t’ pillage ‘cross th’ bay. But if ye want a tasty fish, ye need a fishin’ pole a keg o’ rum. Only th’ hour yield a meal ’tis satisfyin’.”
Hey, mateys! The bars are serving Shipyard Pumpkinhead, but in my log, there’s still time to fit in a few purely summer dishes before the leaves start to turn. After all, it’s always summer in the Caribbean!
I got a ridiculous craving for donuts the other night, and while the craving wasn’t quite strong enough to convince me to make a midnight run to the 24-hour Dunkin’, it did inspire me to think of new ways to use my mini donut factory! You can buy one yourself from Think Geek, or you can use a donut pan mold.
While I don’t think Kaylee and Jayne would be able to scrounge up enough butter and sugar on the outer planets to make donuts, I reckon that if they could, these are the donuts they would crave. Kaylee’s donut of choice is obvious: packed full of her favorite strawberries! For the Hero of Canton, his donut is a tribute to Mudders Milk, and of course, contains a little alcohol!
Click below for a donut recipe from a former donut semi-professional! Wait…oh…so working at Tim Horton’s for two years doesn’t make me a donut semi-professional? I think that since both Jewel Staite and Nathan Fillion are from Canada, they might be with me on this one!
“Share it? No. No. Dead plant and all that. Don’t think he’d understand. Could be a distant relative.”
“I get it. Don’t be hasty.”
Though I’m certainly not suggesting you should smoke kale leaf with the above quotation, you definitely would not want to share kale chips with your ent friends.
This delightful snack is ridiculously healthy, and I swear it is a great substitute for potato chips. I am saying this as a person who adores potato chips and generally hates vegetables. Every time I make them my roommates think I’m making something far more unhealthy because they smell so good.
The frost of winter was beginning to melt away, and all were merry for the union of Penema and Loreth. Azel happily supped on the meaty stew as she watched the woodland elves dance beneath the glowing lanterns hanging from the trees. Grey elves from the neighboring mountains stood solemnly on the peripheral. “Grey elves can keep their haughty smirks, but they don’t know the pleasures of a good soup,” Azel thought contently.
This soup has all the flavor of classic Italian wedding soup with much less carbs.
Okay, so I’m going to make a sweeping generalization that may offend a few people.
Nerds, as a community, need to lose a few pounds.
I acknowledge that this is especially a bitch statement coming from a girl blessed with an Asian metabolism. I will preface this by saying that I definitely think that the priority is for people to feel good about themselves and their bodies no matter what their size. However, reaching for and maintaining a certain BMI is just healthy. I love you nerds, and I just want you to be healthy and feel good about yourselves!
And yes, I do believe that nerds are more likely to be overweight. Why? Because many nerds are not athletically blessed, so we tend to spend more time on our asses reading and gaming and blogging. Which is awesome, but it doesn’t burn many calories. Your D&D character might have +4 to endurance and +3 to athletics, but unfortunately, this does not translate to real life.
Also, fact, Think Geek apparel offers most of its items in an XXXXL. So…yeah.
Because my mother didn’t keep junk food in the house, I was able to stay slim for most of my life. However, sitting at my desk 50+ hours a week and having the freedom to purchase anything I wanted at Trader Joe’s destroyed my waistline within a few months of graduating college. So, a few months ago, Jesse & I decided to try the slow carb diet.
I must admit, whether you’re single or in a relationship, Valentine’s Day is a BIG problem holiday. Nerd girls may find that they will relate to girls of a similar relationship status on February 14th, regardless of interests.
If you’re single, a tiny part of you is mad at the world for flaunting their coupley happiness in your face. If you’re in a relationship, it’s awkward to find that balance between meaningful romance and seemingly mandatory traditions pushed onto you and your partner by cold-faced greeting card corporations, all while trying to not annoy your single friends and betray your formerly-single self. Phew!
Well, this Valentine’s Day, I hope you find your Scott to your Ramona. Your Inara to your Mal. Your Angel to your Buffy. Your Willow to your Tara. Your Jack to your Ianto. Wow, now that I think about it, a lot of couples in nerdom are fraught with hardship, death, and your partner turning evil after sex. Now THAT’s a nerd girl problem! I hope your romantic exploits fare better! I have five more problems for you under the cut,
Guys, I have found nerd paradise, and it is in Brooklyn.
The Way Station has gotten a little coverage in the bloggersphere as “that steampunk bar with a TARDIS in it”‘ Besides a few guns hung on the wall that Mal Reynolds would probably be proud to keep in his holster, there isn’t anything overly steampunky about it. In face, the decor is pretty comperable to any vaguely hipster/twee bar. But The Way Station still delivers as a must-visit for nerds in New York.
I effing love nerd music. I effing love Christmas music. I effing love the confusion on my friends’ faces when holiday wizard rock comes up on my holiday playlist. There really is not enough nerdy holiday music out there.
Here are a couple of songs to keep you in the spirit of the season while you do your online holiday shopping, participate in a festive WoW raid, or DM your next campaign.
5) Another Christmas Song: Stephen Colbert
All you need to do is look at the Captain America shield in his studio or watch segments like this on his show to know that Stephen Colbert is a huge nerd. In this song from his Christmas special, Colbert breaks down exactly what it takes to write a blockbuster Christmas song.
4) The Way-too-Early Christmas Song: Paul & Storm
Nerd band staple Paul & Storm have a couple Christmas songs in their repertoire. However, their ode to retail’s annual pre-mature jump on the holiday season is especially amusing. “I know you need to satisfy your investors/But couldn’t you wait at least until the Savior’s third trimester?”
3) The Night Santa Went Crazy: Weird Al Yankovic
This nerd holiday classic has all the essentials: silly violence and everyone’s favorite curly-haired accordion player.
2) It’s Snowing: Catchlove
The Harry Potter fandom supplies us with the largest catalog of nerdy holiday songs, there are five entire albums of wizard-themed holiday cheer! Though there are many great wrock songs to choose from, this is one of my favorite holiday songs ever, with or without Harry and his friends.
1) Chiron Beta Prime: Jonathon Coulton
Of course the nerdiest Christmas song I know comes from Jonathon Coulton, feral mountain man and master crooner of all things geeky. The holiday setting Coulton paints may be bleak (gotta watch out for that ammonia scented snow!), but is brimming with cheerful optimism.
There’s loads of nerdy holiday songs I left off this list, let me know your favorites!