Nerd Girl Problems: Valentine’s Day

I must admit, whether you’re single or in a relationship, Valentine’s Day is a BIG problem holiday.  Nerd girls may find that they will relate to girls of a similar relationship status on February 14th, regardless of interests.

If you’re single, a tiny part of you is mad at the world for flaunting their coupley happiness in your face.  If you’re in a relationship, it’s awkward to find that balance between meaningful romance and seemingly mandatory traditions pushed onto you and your partner by cold-faced greeting card corporations, all while trying to not annoy your single friends and betray your formerly-single self. Phew!

Well, this Valentine’s Day, I hope you find your Scott to your Ramona. Your Inara to your Mal.  Your Angel to your Buffy.  Your Willow to your Tara.  Your Jack to your Ianto.  Wow, now that I think about it, a lot of couples in nerdom are fraught with hardship, death, and your partner turning evil after sex.  Now THAT’s a nerd girl problem!  I hope your romantic exploits fare better!  I have five more problems for you under the cut,

5 sweeping generalizations about nerd girl problems on Valentine’s Day, by me, a nerd girl:

1.  Think Geek didn’t post their Valentine’s Day line until February 1st.
You will not believe how difficult this made my Valentine’s Day shopping.  Since V-Day falls in the middle of the week this year, I need to be ready with a unique, geeky by February 10th at the latest.  Ten days is not enough time for me to browse, ponder, and wait for shipping!  As a consequence, I ended up buying a gift not as cool as His & Hers chromosome towels.  But no, seriously, I got my gift on etsy, and it did not turn out as cool as I wanted, so don’t expect much, BF.  Think Geek, I expect you to be more in-tune with my manic over-preparedness next year!  That, or make your shipping as awesome as Amazon Prime.

2. Lack of licensed cards.
I love getting the $1.50 package of elementary-school style cards and giving them to my friends. In high school, I could usually score some cool licensed ones, such as Marvel, Harry Potter, & Lord of the Rings.  It was always awkward trying to decide who to give the Gimli card to versus who would get the Aragorn card.  There’s nothing like a hairy dwarf on Valentine’s Day to say “I dislike or am apathetic towards you.”  Anyway, imagine my surprise when all I can find in my local CVS are cards that feature candy, cute animal, or Hello Kitty.  I have nothing against any of these things, but listen card companies.  Buck up, buy a couple licenses, and give me Avengers themed cards!  Do you really think that won’t sell?

3. Nathan Fillion is taken.
So is David Tennant.  And Ira Glass.  Enough said.  And no, my massive crush on Ira Glass is NOT creepy!

4.  Your nerd boy crush has not yet discovered nerd girls.
If you’re in your twenties and you’re still at this point, then girl, seriously, move on.  But this sometimes still an issue in high school.  Your nerd boy is flawless in your eyes.  He wears adorable glasses and you two bond over the latest Game of Thrones episode in calc class.  You know your love is unbounded like an exponential curve, but he’s an idiot.  He’s still stuck on cheerleader types, which will never work out, because he would have nothing in common with them.  You have two options.  Wait for him (and other nerd boys) to grow up (chances are they’ll eventually become amazing boyfriends), or take John Green’s advice and turn into a giraffe.  Also, nerd boys, listen to John Green: “Nerd girls are the world’s greatest underutilized romantic resource.”

5.  There is a fundamental problem with the plant your boyfriend gave you to express his affection.
It refuses to protect you from zombies.

Also check out:

Nerd Girl Problems: Halloween
Nerd Girl Problems: Thanksgiving
Nerd Girl Problems: Christmas