The Mixologist’s Review: Dunkin Donuts Frozen Hot Chocolate

At work, we regularly walk down to the local Dunkin Donuts. This means I get to see all of the weird things Dunkin seems release but very rarely do I ever try anything. The Reverse Boston Crème was terrifying because it was literally chocolate cake filled with chocolate pudding and covered in vanilla frosting and yet somehow socially acceptable to eat! Part of me wanted to try the Meat Munchkins but I never got that low.

But with it being summer and the weather is getting into the high nineties, I decided to try Dunkin’s latest offering – the Frozen Hot Chocolate!

For those hoping this frozen concoction is some mystical blend of ice and fire, you’ll be disappointed because it is just a chocolate Coolata. In a world where the Starbucks’ Frappucino rules supreme, the Coolatta feels like a relic of a past age. Even McDonalds has stepped up their game with the McFrappe which I secretly think is just a milkshake with some ice.

But I love slush-based drinks and figured what’s the worst that could happen. So I placed my order for a medium and instead of being treated so some regal blend of chocolate and whipped cream, I was given a plastic cup in a Styrofoam cup that look suspiciously like semi-frozen milk and mud without any whipped cream.

The flavor is kind of like hot chocolate, but tastes watered down. Its candy-like sweetness instantly reminded me of Tootsie Rolls but the blend of ice, milk and chocolate just ended up being less than enticing. The drink is sweet without giving you a solid chocolately flavor which is weird.

The texture doesn’t help since when someone drinks chocolate, the texture should be smooth and creamy. Here though, the ice floats to the top creating an uneven blend of flavors. The bottom layer is sickeningly sweet while the top layer is far too diluted. Swirling the cup before drinking helps a bit but a beverage shouldn’t need constant agitation to stay mixed.

But after drinking this thing, I made the mistake of looking up its nutritional facts. I know fast food is rarely, if ever, healthy but there are some terrifying things here. A single medium sized Frozen Hot Chocolate is 640 calories! And most of that comes from sugar, which is 116 grams – that’s 9 and a half TABLESPOONS of sugar in this! That is over HALF A CUP OF SUGAR. I feel disgusted with myself and am only eating salad for the next week.

What’s most amazing to me is the price – this 24 ounce drink was a few pennies under $4! When $5 gets me a handcrafted Frappucino at Starbucks, it’s hard to see how this machine crafted abomination can command such a high price. This drink is just weird in all the wrong ways and not worth your money or even exposing your taste buds to.

Nutritional Facts from Dunkin Donuts

Calories 640
Calories from Fat 60
Total Fat (g) 7
Saturated Fat (g) 4.5
Cholesterol (mg) 25
Sodium (mg) 330
Total Carbs (g) 143
Dietary Fiber (g) 3
Sugars (g) 116
Protein (g) 10

Vitamin A 4% – Vitamin C 2% – Calcium 35% – Iron 10%

CONTAINS ALLERGENS: Milk, Soy

INGREDIENTS: Frozen Neutral Base [Water, Neutral Base (Sugar, Glucose, Fructose, Silicon Dioxide, Malic Acid, Xanthan Gum)], Milk, Frozen Hot Chocolate Base [Corn Syrup, Water, Whey, Cocoa processed with alkali, Cocoa, Natural and Artificial Flavor (Milk), Caramel Color, Potassium Sorbate (Preservative)].